Flash Forward A.R.G.

International health officials rarely have much to laugh about, but many are apparently amused by persistent theories that pandemics and viruses are behind the Global Blackout. In interviews and media statements across the globe, these same officials have patiently pointed out that if the GBO was indeed a virus, the symptoms have been mild, if not completely non-existent.

All over the world, there have been very few reports — if any — of discernible signs of illness in the wake of the GBO, besides some cases of nausea, disorientation and, in one case, “loss of appetite.” Which is to say, we’re not exactly in SARS or SWINE FLU territory. Scientists agree that the lasting effects on the survivors of the Global Blackout are far more likely to be psychological, rather than physical.

On the internet, however, one the most popular pandemic-related theories was that the GBO was the result of a new strain of virus, which was capable of being activated by external factors like atmospheric conditions.

Scientists have resoundingly debunked this theory. “The only thing contagious about the GBO are these ridiculous ideas about a virus,” argued a prominent health official. However, the claims have been insistent enough that this week, the world health authorities were forced to release a statement stating that the Global Blackout was not a health issue, nor had anything to do with viruses as they were currently defined.

“There is no indication that the phenomenon of the Global Blackout is a condition that is contagious,” one authority said. “Every single person on the planet experienced the same phenomenon. While this experience has been unprecedented, health authorities cannot intervene. There are no symptoms of illness, so we cannot classify the Global Blackout as the result of contagion.”

© Oscar Obregon 2009 All rights reserved